Monday, March 31, 2003
Yikes.

Original Message:
From: [name removed], U of S
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 7:15 PM
To:
Subject : Fwd: Pass this along to all women who are students/staff or Visitors @ U of S

The wife of one of my co-workers was attacked on campus last night. She
is okay and managed to get away. She was leaving her night class @ 10
last night to the P parking lot by education and a man approached her.
He told her she is coming with him and she said no and struggled to get
away from him but he grabbed her by her arm and tried to drag her to his
car. He kept hitting her over the head in the struggle -- by complete
and utter luck another person in the parking lot turned on their car and
the headlights were in their direction and it scared him off and he ran
away.

She is really shook up and has a bad headache from being hit in
the head a few times today but is okay -- thank god. But pass this along
that there is an idiot on campus trying to get women into his car. Tell
your friends to NOT walk to their cars alone @ night.
More lies by Moore:

The Truth Behind Bowling for Columbine:
The point is not that Bowling is unfair, or lacking in objectivity. One might hope that a documentary would be fair, but nothing rules out a rousing polemic.

The point is far more fundamental: Bowling for Columbine is dishonest. It is fraudulent. It fixes upon a theme, and advances it, whenever necessary, by deception. To trash Heston, it even uses the audio/video editor to assemble a Heston speech that Heston did not give, and to turn sympathetic phrases into arrogant ones. Moore's object is not to enlighten or to document, but to play his viewer like a violin, to the point where they leave the theater with heartfelt believe in that which is, sadly, quite false.


This article is very detailed and with a lot of evidence to support its claims -- It's wild how much untruth is really behind this "documentary." Grrr, I hate being lied to.
I am not very patriotic, in the usual meaning of that word. I cannot say “My country right or wrong” in any political, social, or literary context. But one thing is inalterable, for better or worse, in life.
This is where my world began. A world which includes ancestors – both my own and other people’s ancestors who become mine. A world which formed me, and continues to do so, even while I fought it in some of its aspects, and continue to do so. A world which gave me my own lifework to do, because it was here that I learned the sight of my own particular eyes.

Margaret Laurence, Where the World Began


I found this lil quote while I was getting my lesson ready (final exam review) for class tomorrow. This passage really spoke to me -- while I may not agree with what is going on right now, I'll always have a special devotion toward my home. And you know, I think it took me moving away from both my country and my family for me to fully realize how blessed I am.


Sunday, March 30, 2003
Just because I know you're curious

Our friend Optimus Prime now has his very own weblog you can follow. Too bad he can't spell and is out fighting "Suddam." Ah, the legacy of cheap plastic toys from the 80's! Has anyone heard if any My Little Ponies or Snorks or Shirt Tales or Smurfs or are over there fighting too?

Iraqi People 'Terrified of Saddam Hussein' (from Arab News)

When we finally made it to Safwan, Iraq, what we saw was utter chaos. Iraqi men, women and children were playing it up for the TV cameras, chanting: “With our blood, with our souls, we will die for you Saddam.”

I took a young Iraqi man, 19, away from the cameras and asked him why they were all chanting that particular slogan, especially when humanitarian aid trucks marked with the insignia of the Kuwaiti Red Crescent Society, were distributing some much-needed food.

His answer shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did.

He said: “There are people from Baath here reporting everything that goes on. There are cameras here recording our faces. If the Americans were to withdraw and everything were to return to the way it was before, we want to make sure that we survive the massacre that would follow as Baath go house to house killing anyone who voiced opposition to Saddam. In public, we always pledge our allegiance to Saddam, but in our hearts we feel something else.”

Different versions of that very quote, but with a common theme, I would come to hear several times over the next three days I spent in Iraq.

The people of Iraq are terrified of Saddam Hussein.


Wow, my hope for humankind just went up a gazillion notches:

Iraqi Civilians Give Food to Hungry Marines

Iraqi civilians fleeing heavy fighting have stunned and delighted hungry US marines in central Iraq (news - web sites) by giving them food, as guerrilla attacks continue to disrupt coalition supply lines to the rear.

Corpsman Tony Garcia said the food donation was an act of appreciation for the American effort to topple the brutal regime of Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. "They gave us eggs and potatoes to feed our marines and corpsmen. I feel the local population are grateful and they want to see an end to Saddam Hussein," he said. "It was a lovely, beautiful gesture."

Khairi Ilrekibi, 35, a passenger on one of the buses, which broke down near the marine position, said he could speak for the 20 others on board. In broken English he told a correspondent travelling with the marines: "We like Americans," adding that no one liked Saddam Hussein because "he was not kind." He said Iraqi civilians living near him were opposed to Saddam Hussein and that most were hiding in their homes and were extremely tired.


Don't think they would do that if they thought the Marines were "invading" -- almost makes you think that they were happy to see 'em?


Friday, March 28, 2003
Recipe for the ultimate date-night:

With yourself, that is.

First, decide that absolutely NO schoolwork will be done, under any circumstances.

Second, go to your favorite cheap video store (49 cent video) and rent some movies you've been meaning to see.
(I finally decided on Fargo and Bonnie and Clyde -- apparently, due to my film choices, I'm feeling fairly violent. I was gonna watch some Sopranos, but the first volume was already checked out!)

Third, change into comfy oversized sweatpants, teeshirt, and comfy socks.

Fourth, order a cheesy pizza
(feeling NO guilt) and watch away!


Yup, that's my plan for this happenin' Friday night.

Thursday, March 27, 2003
I survived!

Tonight's presentation went fairly well, I think. Todd, you are the best! Thanks SO MUCH for coming tonight. It was nice to see a friendly face in the crowd, and to finally get to hug your neck. I hope that you had a good time. Next week, when my life finally calms down (somewhat), we'll have to get coffee.

But back to the actual presentation. The prof opened up the discussion -- and I was a little surprised at what he had to say. We had our "dry run" yesterday, and his comments tonight were decidingly more anti-American. He was talking about notions of "freedom" -- and threw in several digs at America's "monopolization and franchising" of freedom. He also explored the implications of "Operation Iraqi Freedom" -- and, let's just say he's very against the war. I'm not upset at his opinions, just taken aback at the vehemence of them appearing in this particular context. But, ah well.

After his comments (which were not too monopolizing, thankfully), the rest of the class started our presentations. There were ones on Salman Rushdie, Animal Farm, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Digital Diaires. Oh, and mine, of course! Everyone else had typed pages that they read from -- me, well -- I only had a notecard and a lot of nerve. I think it went pretty okay. I was really nervous once I actually got up there, so I felt like I stumbled a little bit on my words -- but I had a connection with the audience that the others didn't necessarily have, reading from their pages.

The question time was -- eh-hem -- interesting. There were some "writers" there as special guests -- and I think they were asking the types of questions that 1. Make themselves look good and us stupid, and 2. Questions that aren't really questions that have an answer. Or if there is one, they wouldn't accept what you had to say. But anyway, besides the questions from these "academics" (read: assholes), the other comments and questions were interesting and actually answerable.

Again, with my big mouth, it was known my dislike for Michael Moore and my own insecurities of being an American in Canada. Overall it was a very fun experience, despite the nerves and face-risks involved. I do love being in University!

Philosophy of Loss
Words and Music: Emily Saliers of Indigo Girls

Welcome to why the church has died
In the heart of the exiled, in the kingdom of fate.
Who owns the land and keeps the commands,
And marries itself to the state.

Modern scribes write, "In Jesus Christ, everyone is free."
And the doors open wide to all straight men and women,
But they are not open to me.

Who is teaching kids to be soldiers?
To be marked by a plain white cross?
And we kill just a little to save a lot more,
The philosophy of loss.


And there are a few who would be true out of love,
And love is hard.
And don't think that our hands haven't shoveled the dirt,
Over their central American graveyards.

Doctors and witch hunters stripped you bare,
Left you nothing for your earthy sins.
Yeah but who made this noise? Just a bunch of boys.
And the one with the most toys wins.

And who is teaching kids to be gamblers?
Life is a coin toss.
And of course, what you give up is what you gain.
The philosophy of loss.

Whatever has happened to anyone else
Could happen to you and to me.
The end of my youth was the possible truth
That it all happens randomly.

So who is teaching kids to be leaders?

And the way that it is is meant to be.
The philosophy of loss.



Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Who said that the legislative branch of our government is in trouble?

Georgians try to legislate 'sweet tea'
Associated Press
Published March 26, 2003

ATLANTA -- For some Georgia lawmakers, a meal wouldn't be complete without sweet tea. Now they could put that into law.

Rep. John Noel, D-Atlanta, and four co-sponsors filed a bill Tuesday that would make it a misdemeanor ``of a high and aggravated nature'' not to offer sweet tea in any Georgia restaurant that serves iced tea.

Noel acknowledged the bill was an attempt to bring a little humor to the Legislature. But he said he wouldn't mind if it became law.

Under the bill, restaurants could still serve unsweetened tea, but must serve sweet tea as well. The proposed bill specifies the tea must be sweetened when it is brewed.

Misdemeanors can carry a sentence of up to 12 months in jail.

Noel got the idea when he wasn't able to order sweet tea at a restaurant in Chicago. It wasn't on the menu.


Yep. This same state congress once had a member who said she spoke to the spirit of Chandra Levy. Seriously. (and I think she was from the Savannah district, too!)

Then again, I'm aching for some real sweet tea, and not the instant stuff we have up here! Might not be a bad idea after all. :)

I'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin'

Up and down, up and down. That's how I've felt all day long today. There really isn't that much of an excuse in my life right now to cause me to be this moody, besides frustrating things happening. Where do I begin, though?

I only had a few hours of sleep last night, maybe that's one reason my day hasn't gone that well. Last night: UP -- I got to watch American Idol (I know, pathetic, but somehow I'm drawn to it) and then Days of Thunder, in surround sound. What could be better than watching Tom Cruise in a NASCAR role? Not much, even though they got some things wrong in the film. DOWN -- I didn't get home til around 11, and after blogging and catching up on news, I didn't get started on my presentation until late, getting to bed at 3AM, only to get up around 8:30.

But when I woke up this morning, I wasn't feeling as bad as I usually do when I have little sleep. My grad class was amazing. This is the same class I was so frustrated in, this time a month ago. We sat around the table and first discussed Bowling for Columbine, then we went over what we'll say tomorrow night at the Mendel. Everyone's presentation sounds so good (and yet controversial!) -- and even my sleep-deprived presentation went well. So that was definitely UP. The DOWN part is that I'm really anxious about what I'm presenting. I've already mentioned that its a novel called The Ugly American -- and, well, I feel really self-conscious talking about it. Maybe it's because I already feel so out of place where I'm at now, at this particular point in time. The prof made sure to state in the beginning of the class period that they all will be supporting me, trying to include me in every way possible -- which sounds really reassuring. But how reassuring is it, if you have to explicitly state it? Thing is, this book and my topic have a very good possibility to become a firecracker -- causing discussions that I may not want to be a part of. It's hard to explain this feeling I have. I want to be able to share my thoughts about the book, and the importance of it being discussed/read -- but I don't want it to become a breeding ground for disseminating more anti-American feelings due to the actions in Iraq. It's a really weird place to be right now.

That said, today's class was very good, and really had me thinking. I've actually decided to change my big paper topic. Like I mentioned earlier, we all discussed certain elements of Michael Moore's newest film -- with me being the most disgusted at what I saw. Again, I think being here in Canada has made me extra sensitive and more observant about my own culture, in ways I would have never been had I stayed home. Anyway, as I'm going over the many ways that I despise Moore and what he communicates, I had an epiphany. I realized that the very same negative, visceral reaction I have to his film is similar to an Aboriginal woman's opinions after watching Highway's Dry Lips Oughta Move to Kapuskasing. I remember using this editorial review in my presentation last week, and commenting on the different ways that she missed out on the deep messages of the play, because she was so shocked at the way Highway presents his community.

That's exactly like my reaction to Bowling.

Wow. The implications of this revelation are huge. Once I realized this, my mind just started working seriously overtime. I can see so many similarities between the two authors' techniques and the ways that they manifest their message within their texts. Exciting stuff! But it's also really scary at the same time -- you see, now that I've decided to do some sort of examination of the Intellectual/Artistic freedoms of Highway and Moore, I've lost that objective frame-of-mind that is so easy to hide behind. It's easier to analyze Dry Lips and the ways Highway makes his points in there, mainly because I can't relate to what he is saying on a personal level. But in Bowling for Columbine, there is SO MANY different touchy areas (of my OWN culture) that Moore pokes and prods -- areas that I still haven't quite forgiven him for -- but now I have a new desire to search for the hidden message within. So, it should be an interesting process, I'll keep ya posted on how it goes.

That was a definite UP for the day. Another UP was that my Xrays came back with no cartilage damage to my left knee. This is a good thing, it means that its treatable with therapy and not necessarily surgery. I had the doctor write down the name of my problem: "Patellofemoral syndrome". Hopefully these physical therapy exercises will do the trick. The DOWN of the visit: the dermatologist I was referred to can't see me until May 7th. MAY 7th! My hands are so awful right now, I can't wait that long -- and besides, I'll be on my long trek home at that time anyway.

Various other UPs and DOWNs -- I had my feelings hurt today by someone I'm close to. That's never fun, and while it's wasn't intentional, I think I'll be feeling the effects of it for a long time. I'm also really upset that no one I know will be coming to my presentation tomorrow night. I'm actually really excited about it, and it really stinks that the people I love are too far away to really see my education in action. Besides that, I just feel really lonely right now and out of place. I'm worried and depressed about the war and about my friends that are either over there already or are on their way. There's many parts of me that just want to sleep until May.

Speaking of sleep, I think I'll go to bed early tonight.


P.S.
I thought that I might mention today's speech by the U.S. Ambassador to Canada. It was quite interesting. I first read about it this morning, then I watched a little more about it on the news tonight.

Segments from the article: OTTAWA (Reuters) - The U.S. ambassador to Canada took the unusual step on Tuesday of openly criticizing Ottawa for not backing the war on Iraq and urged Prime Minister Jean Chretien to muzzle anti-U.S. sentiment in his government.

The comments by an angry Paul Cellucci dramatically reflected how much relations between the two close allies and trading partners have deteriorated over the last few months, mainly as a result of the Iraq crisis.

"There is no security threat to Canada that the United States would not be ready, willing and able to help with. There would be no debate, there would be no hesitation. We would be there for Canada -- part of our family," he thundered.

"And that is why so many in the United States are so disappointed and upset that Canada is not fully supporting us now," he said. In the speech, and in comments to reporters afterward, he mentioned U.S. disappointment 12 times.

What will have been most disconcerting for the audience was Cellucci's statement that the United States gave a higher priority to security than to the booming trade relationship between the two countries.

Chretien himself told reporters in Ottawa that as far as he was concerned, bilateral ties were normal. "Being independent and sovereign nations, sometimes we can disagree and remain good friends," he said. Asked whether he wanted the United States to win the war, he replied: "Of course. I don't want Saddam Hussein to win. We always said that Saddam Hussein was doing a lot of things that we were not in agreement with."

But critics are upset that Ottawa now seems to be backing Washington's desire for regime change and are particularly unhappy that Bill Graham wished "God speed" to the invasion force, a comment which Cellucci said was helpful.

"It's frightening that the Canadian foreign minister is a booster for regime change," said Alexa McDonough of the left-leaning New Democrats.

Cellucci also criticized Canadian media outlets for running pictures of U.S. troops captured by Iraq, saying this could hurt the family members involved.

Canadian newspaper and television coverage of the crisis has been far more critical than the U.S. media in examining the reasons for the assault and perceived inconsistencies in Washington's position.


Several interesting points are mentioned in the article. First of all, the level of anti-American feeling is definitely on the rise (and it was fairly high before the war began). I'm amazed at the type of comments that several legislative members make about the States -- statements that don't seem very diplomatic. From an MLA stating that she "hates those bastards" to talking about the President's failure as a statesmen, etc. No, I'm not necessarily taking these statements personally, but I still don't think that people in elected, governmental positions should run their mouths like that.

And now I'm confused with the new liberal notion that supports disarming Saddam, but not changing the regime. Um, didn't that not work 12 years ago, after the Gulf War? Somehow I think things would have been different today if Saddam had been rooted out then, instead of allowing him 12 years to recuperate and take advantage of his position (and at the expense of his own people, too!).

Oh well, not much that I can do from my end, besides spread the word that not all Americans are insecure, gun-toting wackos (a message that Michael Moore seems to enjoy spreading). I can just educate people against stereotypes, one at a time. Tonight, my friend Eric proudly told me that he defended American stereotypes to some of his friends that were busy bashing. At least I have one convert to brag about!

Okay, seriously going to work on presentation now. Ciao!
I'm late, I'm late -- for a very important date! I'm late!

Well, maybe not so much late as overwhelmed and not getting all my work done in a timely manner. As it is now, it's a little after midnight and I still have to finish nailing down a presentation for tomorrow. It's for the art gallery presentation/discussion that I'm doing with my grad class on Thursday night at 7:30. The official title of the presentation: "Taking Liberties, or Toeing the Line? A Conversation on Intellectual and Artistic Freedom with Young Scholars from the University of Saskatchewan." As I've mentioned before, the focus of our talk concerns issues of censorship.

The book I've chosen to talk about is The Ugly American by Eugene Burdick and William J. Lederer. It's a book that discusses several good and bad representations of Americans living abroad. It was censored in the late 1950's, due to the negative portrayals of Americans. I read this book in my Foreign Affairs class in high school, and with the international tensions going on right now (in addition to myself being an American, living abroad), I thought this book was especially fitting. Now I just have to figure out what the heck I wanna say -- we're supposed to have a rehearsal, of sorts, tomorrow during class. Nothing like waiting til the last minute, eh? Ah, to thrive on the stress of deadlines!

I also have a presentation for my grad Rhetoric class. I'm really anxious about this one, especially since I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm supposed to teach next Tuesday's GE 400 class how to analyze something rhetorically, using a clustering technique. Problem is, I don't know this technique. So tomorrow I'm supposed to trek up to my prof's office and have her run one analysis by me. Sigh.

I met with the physical therapist today, concerning my left knee. She gave me an ultrasound of it, and also prescribed me some stretching exercises to try until next week. If these don't help, I'll probably have to see a podiatrist. I'm falling apart, and I'm only 25!

Well, I should jump on some presentation work, if I'm going to get any sleep before tomorrow's class. By the way, I sorta got a hold of Heather tonight. I had to call her mom to get her number, and her mom said that Michael hasn't left yet. Yet. I ended up getting her machine when I tried to call her, so I'll have to try calling again later. But it makes me feel a little better knowing he's still here -- and not in the thick of it, at least not yet.


Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I think I just felt my heart officially just drop.

Taking a break from schoolwork, I checked online for the latest news. I come across this story: JACKSONVILLE, N.C. - A U.S. flag flew at half-staff Tuesday outside Camp Lejeune for the 11 Marines stationed at the base who had died in the Middle East, most of them killed in the fighting near An Nasiriyah.

My best friend Heather's husband is stationed there. He speaks fluent Arabic. I haven't talked to her since December -- somehow I just *know* he's over there ("Some 17,500 of the 30,000 Marines assigned to Camp Lejeune are overseas").

I skimmed down the articles to the names of the casualities -- when I ran across a Michael, I think I gasped loud enough that everyone near me in the library turned and looked at me.

But it wasn't her Michael.

I still feel awful. I need to call her. Now.



[editor's note: I just saw Bowling for Columbine tonight, and I'm still VERY much working through it. This article starts to sum up some of my feelings about it -- I'll post more on it later tomorrow.]

It looks like a documentary and
quacks like a documentary...
but is it really just Michael
Moore in a duck suit?

ANDY IHNATKO

Let me tell you about an experience I had with one of my all-time favorite movies: "Fargo."

When it came out, I went nuts for it. I thought Chief of Police Marge Gunderson was right up there with Columbo, Nick Charles, and Batman: a skilled detective with a unique approach to crimesolving that could easily spawn a dozen stories. I loved the cinematography and the way it made Minnesota and North Dakota look like the most exotic and interesting places on earth. I loved the accents, I loved the utter incompetence of Jerry Lundegaard's criminal scheme, and after I saw it the third time I had an urge for buffet-style dining that required me to drive nearly an hour away to Rhode Island and the only such restaurant that I could find.

Then I learned that the movie's opening title card, which claims that "Fargo" was based on a true story, was a lie.

Did it ruin "Fargo" for me? Well, no. It was still everything it always was. But man alive; the Coen Brothers had lied to me. Lied to me for no real purpose or benefit. Just lied for the sake of lying. It left a bad taste in my mouth. But in the end, honestly, how mad could I be? After all, it was just a movie, just a story. And it was just one little lie. Harmless.

It's not like the Coen Brothers were asking me to treat "Fargo" seriously. It's not like they were using deception and untruths in an attempt to influence my opinions and my view of the world. "Fargo" was sold to me as fiction and if I believed anything in it, well, that was my fault. It's all about product-packaging.

"Bowling For Columbine" sold as a documentary. Is it? Not in a conventional sense, no. It's brilliant filmmaking and in many ways it's a very important film. But shouldn't we call it a Filmed Essay instead of a Documentary?

"Documentary" implies that the filmmaker went out there filming real events and interviews, took his footage home, and then built up a story through editing. That's not what happened in "Bowling For Columbine." He wrote a powerful essay about handgun violence and why Americans seem to be so keen on it, and then he illustrated it with filmed footage. There isn't a sense that he filmed events as they happened. Instead, there's the impression that he was working from a shot list, much like a traditional filmmaker would. But then again, Michael Moore has always worn his politics and his vision of the world as it should be right on his sleeve. If you watch a Michael Moore documentary expecting him to enter into a dry, routine investigation and that he's fully prepared to be surprised and changed by what he learns, you clearly haven't been paying attention.

It's not a problem that Moore has an opinion, a point of view, and an agenda. But it's a major problem if Moore is trying to convert people to this point of view via mistruths and deception. And the more I examine "Bowling For Columbine," the less time I spend thinking "Is there anything inaccurate within this film?" More and more the question becomes "Can we even believe the majority of the facts and events in "Bowling For Columbine"?

I started looking into this shortly after my first screening. I enjoy Moore's work so I sat through the first viewing more or less prepared to believe what I was being told. After seeing "Roger And Me" and "The Big One" I had the same opinion of Moore that most people have of the Warren Commission report: that he gets the basic story straight but there's room for doubt on some of the finer details.

But one of the film's final shots made me curious. "Bowling For Columbine" appeared to have been filmed with a single camera throughout, yet a final scene of Moore and NRA chairman Charlton Heston appeared to keeep cutting between two separate reverse shots. Was the scene shot at two separate times and then cut together so it'd seem like we were watching seamless action?

I saw "Bowling For Columbine" again, paying closer attention. It turns out that I was wrong about that final shot; one cut shows the camera frantically swishing and zooming to switch from Heston back to Moore, and I'm certain that the editor merely compressed time a little to eliminate all that frantic camera work.

But I noticed a lot of other things. Things that just didn't feel right. I pulled out a pen and started making notes, jotting down names and figures. I started investigating when I got home and found myself getting sucked in. Quick Google searches evolved into phone interviews and trips to library archives to sift through old news coverage.

Nothing was checking out.

My research is still preliminary. I've found so many problems with the accuracy of the film that at some point, I just had to throw up my hands and start at the beginning of the film and work my way forward. So let's start with the title of the movie. Moore notes that the two kids who committed the Columbine massacre had attended a bowling class before attacking the school and asks why so many people blamed music, movies and video games for the tragedy. From the same logic, why not blame bowling?

So I phoned the Jefferson County Sherriff's Office, which investigated the tragedy. They believe that Harris and Klebold were not in class that morning, and state as such in their official report. They made that conclusion based on testimony from teachers and students, who didn't see them there. There's also an attendance sheet from that morning which marks them both as absent. They also found the class scoresheets. Apparently, in league-style scoring (which is what the class used) you fill out sheets for every registered bowler. If that bowler isn't present, the sheet is duly filed, but without any recorded scores. Investigators found scoresheets with Harris and Klebold's names on them…but no scores.

One of the segments of the movie that gets the most airplay on TV takes place at the very beginning. There's a bank in Northern Michigan that will give you a free gun if you open an account. Moore is shown walking into the bank and asking to open "the account where you get the free gun." He's led to an office where he fills out a couple of forms, answers a couple of questions, a quick background check is completed (Moore comments about the speed and ease of the process) and presto: he exits the bank, proudly raising his new Weatherby rifle in the air.

So I called the bank, North Country Bank & Trust. The spokesperson who processed Moore's free gun in the film doesn't work there any more, but I spoke to one of the gun program's customer-service reps. It turns out that it's impossible to duplicate Moore's experience.

Here's the procedure for the gun program, as it was explained to me:

1) You walk into the bank and ask for "the account where you get the free gun."

2) You're shown a catalogue of available products. They're famous for their guns, but you can also choose a set of golf clubs, a grandfather clock, or other expensive bric-a-brac. You pick out an item.

3) The gun isn't actually "free"; you're buying a Certificate of Deposit and the bank is paying you all of the interest from the account in advance, in the form of fabulous prizes. The bank employee knows what each item costs and calculates how much money you'll have to desposit and how long you'll have to keep it in there to pay off the gun. For instance, I was told that to get the Mark 5 Stainless Weatherby, I'd have to deposit $5697 and keep it there for three years.

4) You fill out paperwork. Two sets, actually. One is the usual paperwork for opening a CD, the second is information for the required firearms background check.

5) You go home and wait. The bank processes your paperwork, both to make sure that no other bank has ever lost money doing business with you, and to make sure that they can legally sell you a firearm. I asked the rep how long the bank took to approve a customer and get him his gun, but she was uncomfortable with giving me an actual number.

"Well, are we talking hours? Days?" I asked.

"Oh, days, definitely." Later in the conversation, she described it as "Like, two weeks' worth of days."

6) When the bank is satisfied that it's safe to issue you a CD and a gun, they notify you. You have the option of picking up the weapon at a local gun dealer or right at the bank but in either case, the weapon has to be shipped there from a different location. No gun inventory is kept at the bank; the only firearms they have on hand are display models so you can fondle the merchandise before you make a selection.

So there are obviously some major disconnects between the experience Moore presents and the experience a customer would have if they didn't appear with a film crew. Again, this is preliminary stuff: it's possible that the process was indeed just that simple when Moore came to film. But it's also possible that the bank agreed to streamline it for the purposes of filming. Unfortunately, the woman who actually chairs the program (and perhaps can speak more authoritatively) was on vacation when I called, but I've got her return-date circled on the calendar. Stay tuned.

The movie's hardly even begun, and already two major facts and incidents depicted are wrong. These things aren't just "matters of opinion," either; he's making a statement of fact that's contrary to physical evidence and presenting a "reality" that only exists through filmmaking.

I have spoken to some of the people who Moore spoke to on-camera. I have spoken to the Air Force Academy. I have researched the crimes mentioned in the documentary and have amassed primary documents on Columbine. What began as an idle curiosity has turned into an ever-lengthening list of problems and an ever-mounting long-distance bill.

Don't you just hate being lied to?

A more complete discussion of some of the inconsistencies of "Bowling For Columbine" will come when I can speak about them with greater confidence – yes, the Sherriff's Office says that the kids weren't bowling that morning…but do other investigators agree with their research? – but I've already turned up enough hard, primary evidence countering enough of Moore's claims that I'm deeply concerned...and a little angry. If Moore is being deceptive about something as straightforward as the inscription on a plaque at the United States Air Force Academy, or when and how the order for a quarter-trillion-dollar collection of fighter planes was placed, how suspicious should I be of the infinitely subtler arguments he makes about handgun violence in the US as compared to other industrialized nations?



For now, I've begun to qualify my recommendation of "Bowling For Columbine."

"It's a great show, and you should definitely see it," I tell people. "Just, you know, don't necessarily believe anything you see and hear." Which, come to think of it, is the same advice I give people regarding reality-TV shows.

In the end, "Bowling for Columbine" is "Joe Millionaire" for socio-political buffs.

Monday, March 24, 2003
My favorites from the Best and Worst of Oscars 2003

Biggest Show of Chutzpah: Surprise Best Actor winner Adrien Brody, who threw caution to the wind and used his once-in-a-lifetime moment in the spotlight to fulfill many a man's fantasy: he swept Halle Berry into a passionate smackeroo that had a decidedly French (er, freedom?) flavor. "I bet they didn't tell you that was in the gift bag," joked The Pianist star to a shocked Berry, who nonetheless played along, wiping excess saliva from the side of her mouth.

Best Off-the-Cuff Remark, Part 1: Steve Martin's abstract segue from noting "cleavage is in" to an intro of Academy president Frank Pierson, which led the prez to joke, "That's the last time I share a dressing room with him."

It's Her Party, and She'll Cry If She Wants To: Nicole Kidman, who, despite a warning from fellow Oscar-winning Aussie Russell Crowe not to cry onstage, let the tears flow. Nicole eventually got it together and touchingly paid tribute to her mom and daughter, who were both in the audience: "My whole life I've wanted to make my mother proud and now I'm going to make my daughter proud." Who knew divorcing Tom Cruise could work such wonders on one's career?

Words We Thought We'd Never Hear Spoken by Barbra Streisand: "And the Oscar goes to... Eminem!"

Best Performance in an Embarrassing Situation: The lovely Jennifer Garner managed to keep her composure and her dignity as she shared the stage with an animated Mickey Mouse in the most mortifying use of a Disney character since Rob Lowe danced with Snow White.

Biggest Upset, Part 1: First-time nominee Adrien Brody beat out Best Actor frontrunners Jack Nicholson and Daniel Day-Lewis in a victory that caught everyone by surprise. Props to young Brody (at 29, he's the youngest Best Actor winner ever), who quickly adjusted to his newfound fame by refusing to be played off the stage.

Biggest Upset, Part 2: Admit it:
you gasped when Roman Polanski was named Best Director for The Pianist. Yeah, us too. We were fully expecting the much-nominated Martin Scorsese or the buzz-heavy Rob Marshall to walk away with the prize. Apparently, Hollywood is far more forgiving than the U.S. legal system, which is still hoping to bring the fugitive filmmaker to justice.

Best Supported Actresses: Never have so many curves looked as good as they did on the Best Supporting Actress nominees, who would make a fine advertisement for all-natural beauty.

Most Missed Indulgence: The acting clips that usually accompany the names of the nominees. We love to see the actors' "aw shucks" expressions as they watch themselves chew scenery in front of millions of people.

Brains and Bronze: Maybe Ben Affleck just got back from the beach, or maybe he used a wee bit too much bronzer. Either way, he bore a striking resemblance to rich, Corinthian leather.

Best Off-the-Cuff Remark, Part 2: Host Steve Martin, returning to the stage following Moore's speech, telling the crowd: "It's so sweet backstage. I wish you could all see it. The Teamsters are helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo."

Most Self-Deprecating Presenter: Kirk Douglas, his words slurred by a stroke he suffered in 1996, urged son Michael to "speak distinctly" during their touching Best Picture presentation, which ended with Kirk refusing the customary "And the Oscar goes to" in favor of the more truthful, "And the winner is..." We have a sudden urge to call our dad RIGHT NOW.

Most Swaggering Presenter: Colin Farrell, who seemed eminently comfortable onstage, even tossing Martin's potential rehabber joke back at him. And no, we don't know what Colin said to U2 in Gaelic, but we're dying to find out.

Best Dedication: Said Steve Martin at the end of the three hour plus: "To the men and women overseas -- we are thinking of you. Why? We hoped you enjoyed the show. It was for you."

Most Repeated Riff: "And All That Jazz...," which played again and again as Chicago took home six awards. It's going to be stuck in our heads for a week, which is about as long as anyone remembers who won the damn awards.
More from Salam:

half an hour ago the oil filled trenches were put on fire. First watching Al-jazeera they said that these were the places that got hit by bombs from an air raid a few miniutes earlier bit when I went up to the roof to take a look I saw that there were too many of them, we heard only three explosions. I took pictures of the nearest. My cousine came and told me he saw police cars standing by one and setting it on fire. Now you can see the columns of smoke all over the city.
Todat the third in the war, we had quite a number of attacks during daytime. Some without air-raid sirens. They probably just gave up on being able to be on time to sound the sirens. Last night, after waves after waves of attacks, they would sound the all-clear siren only to start another raid siren 30 minutes later.
The images we saw on TV last night (not Iraqi, jazeera-BBC-Arabiya) were terrible. The whole city looked as if it were on fire. The only thing I could think of was “why does this have to happen to Baghdad”. As one of the buildings I really love went up in a huge explosion I was close to tears.


Our boys (3rd Infantry) are only 50 miles south of Baghdad now.

I know, I should be sleeping...

But Jonah on The Corner just made a good point. He compares what the US is doing in Iraq to Jules's EZEKIEL 25:17 from Pulp Fiction:

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down on thee with great vengence and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengence upon thee."

Oscars

I was sort of dreading watching the Oscars tonight -- which stinks, because I usually can't wait to see the outfits and watch the actual award ceremony. I was really worried that actors (be it presenters or winners) would use this opportunity to make it a political statement against the war. While I appreciate my freedom to speak out against my government, somehow the Oscar ceremony doesn't seem like the time or place to do it. You're celebrities, for cryin' out loud -- I don't watch your movies so I can hear your (often) hypocritical political statements (be it about the war or about driving SUVS -- particularly when you own a couple yourself!).

But overall, I was really pleased with how it turned out. It could have been so much worse -- but instead, it was fairly classy. The dissenters (Michael Moore excluded) presented their perspectives in ways that were respectful. I just think, at this point, we (as Americans) don't have the luxury of criticizing what's going on over there. Men and women are risking their lives daily for us -- debating on whether or not they should be over there is a moot point now. Yes, we can pray for their safety and work to get them home sooner -- but petty squabbles that distract from their missions (and sacrifice!) is just a stupid waste of time. (my humble opinion, of course)

And about Michael Moore -- what an idiot. Yes, I respect him for his films -- I'm even making a special effort this week to clear my crazy-busy schedule one night to go catch Bowling -- but c'mon. Get a grip on yourself already. I'm losing more and more respect for him and his grandstanding efforts. His little speel tonight was rightfully booed off the stage. Moore: "They're here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction. We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elect a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or (the) fictition of Orange Alerts, we are against this war, Mr. Bush."

Fine, disagree. But find a different forum for crying out loud -- tonight's not the night. And perhaps you should think about the implications of not only what your saying -- but when you're saying it. I think the Angry Clam came up with a good response:

Words fail me to express how irritated I was with Michael Moore getting an award for a movie that full of lies and bullshit, and I was doubly irritated to hear him get applauded for the horseshit about Bush losing the election.

The irony is that Moore campaigned heavily for Ralph Nader. So, in a sense, the Bush presidency is his fault. I guess even I have something to be thankful to Michael Moore for.


While I may not agree with the clam's view of Bowling (I'll have my own perspective of it after this week), I do think he points out a delicious irony. Oh, and I loved Steve Martin coming back to the ceremony and saying: "the Teamsters are helping Mr. Moore into the trunk of his limo."

And what about Adrien Brody! I was *so happy* he won for Best Actor. While I woulda probably slugged him if I was Halle Berry when he kissed me like that, I really liked his acceptance speech: "I am also filled with a lot of sadness tonight because I am accepting an award at such a strange time. And you know my experiences of making this film made me very aware of the sadness and the dehumanization of people at times of war. And the repercussions of war. And whatever you believe in, if it's God or Allah, may he watch over you and let's pray for a peaceful and swift resolution." He also named one of his friends serving over in Kuwait right now, partially dedicating his win toward him. It just seems to me that this type of dissent, tied with his wish for peace was WAY more appropriate and effective than the crap that Moore spewed out.

Oh, and yay Nicole Kidman too. Way to be rewarded for playing Virginia Woolf. Part of her speech that was meaningful: "Why do you come to the Academy Awards when the world is in such turmoil? Because art is important, and because you believe in what you do and you want to honor that, and it is a tradition that needs to be upheld." Hear, hear.

But anyway -- as far as my predictions below go, I was changing them right up to the moment the award was announced. Looking below, my predictions were only 3 outta 10, but I'm pretty happy with the way the awards turned out. I only wish My Big Fat Greek Wedding woulda won for screenplay! Ah well. The Pianist did WAY better than I thought it would, which makes me happy.

Now I've spent way too much time musing on the Oscars, and I have to be at school all day tomorrow. Ugh, what a week awaits me -- including a new batch of 20 first-year research essays to grade (scary thought indeed!) .

To sleep!


Sunday, March 23, 2003
Oscar Predictions:

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Hopefully: Daniel Day-Lewis in "Gangs of New York" (Miramax)
Better not be: Jack Nicholson in "About Schmidt" (New Line)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Hopefully: Ed Harris in "The Hours" (Paramount and Miramax)
Wouldn't Mind: John C. Reilly in "Chicago" (Miramax) {he was in 3 of the 5 Best Pics this year!}

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Hopefully: Salma Hayek in "Frida" (Miramax)
Better not be: Renée Zellweger in "Chicago" (Miramax)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Hopefully: Catherine Zeta-Jones in "Chicago" (Miramax)
Wouldn't mind: Kathy Bates in "About Schmidt" (New Line)


Achievement in art direction
Hopefully: "Chicago" (Miramax)
Long shot: "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" (New Line)

Achievement in cinematography
Probably: "Chicago" (Miramax) Dion Beebe
A close second: "Gangs of New York" (Miramax) Michael Ballhaus


Achievement in directing
Hyped favorite: "Chicago" (Miramax) Rob Marshall
Academy member "who's due": "Gangs of New York" (Miramax) Martin Scorsese
Should win, but probably won't "The Pianist" (Focus Features) Roman Polanski

Best motion picture of the year
TOUGH call.
Hyped fave: "Chicago" (Miramax)
Artistic fave: "The Hours" (Paramount and Miramax)
Long shot, but I'm still psyched it was nominated: "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" (New Line)
MY choice: "The Pianist" (Focus Features)


Adapted screenplay
Film ignored by Academy: "Adaptation" (Sony Pictures Releasing)
Who'll win: "Chicago" (Miramax)

Original screenplay
Hopefully: "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (IFC/Gold Circle Films)
Not sure about the others, honesty.


I'm still bummed that they'll be no red carpet this year -- though I can understand and appreciate why. It'll be interesting to see what types of political statements are made -- be it from the podium or from wearing swatches of duct tape. I guess wearing sticky tape is better than chickening out and not showing up at all (*coughWill Smith, Cate Blanchett, Angelina Jolie, Peter Jackson, and Tom Hankscough*).

We'll see how good my average is this time tomorrow night! Must sleep, so I can wake up and watch the joy that is the Bristol 500.

Saturday, March 22, 2003
'You're late. What took you so long? God help you become victorious'

Or say some liberated Iraqi soldiers. Probably by some of our own Ft. Stewart's 3rd Infantry, leading the way.
Human Shields "shocked by reality:"

A group of American anti-war demonstrators who came to Iraq with Japanese human shield volunteers made it across the [Jordan] border today with 14 hours of uncensored video, all shot without Iraqi government minders present. Kenneth Joseph, a young American pastor with the Assyrian Church of the East, told UPI the trip "had shocked me back to reality." Some of the Iraqis he interviewed on camera "told me they would commit suicide if American bombing didn't start. They were willing to see their homes demolished to gain their freedom from Saddam's bloody tyranny. They convinced me that Saddam was a monster the likes of which the world had not seen since Stalin and Hitler. He and his sons are sick sadists. Their tales of slow torture and killing made me ill, such as people put in a huge shredder for plastic products, feet first so they could hear their screams as bodies got chewed up from foot to head."
Here's a news story we should have paid attention to, sooner:

Saddam link to Bin Laden

It's dated February 6, 1999.


Common Magic
Bronwen Wallace

Your best friend falls in love
and her brain turns to water.
You can watch her lips move,
making the customary sounds,
but you can see they're merely
words, flimsy as bubbles rising
from some golden sea where she
swims sleek and exotic as a mermaid.

It's always like that.
You stop for lunch in a crowded
restaurant and the waitress floats
toward you. You can tell she doesn't care
whether you have the baked or french-fried
and you wonder if your voice comes
in bubbles too.

It's not women either. Or love
for that matter. The old man
across from you on the bus holds
a young child on his knee; he is singing
to her and his voice is a small boy
turning somersaults in the green
country of his blood.
It's only when the driver calls his stop
that he emerges into this puzzle
of brick and tiny hedges. Only then
you notice his shaking hands, his need
of the child to guide him home.

All over the city
you move in your own seasons
through the seasons of others: old women faces
clawed by weather you can't feel
clack dry tongues at passersby
while adolescente seethe
in their glassy atmospheres of anger.

In parks, the children
are alien life-forms, rooted
in the galaxies they're grown through
to get here. Their games weave
the interface and their laughter
tickles that part of your brain where smells
are hidden and the nuzzling textures of things.

It's a wonder that anything gets done
at all: a mechanic flails
at the muffler of your car
through whatever storm he's trapped inside
and the mailman stares at numbers
from the haze of a distant summer.

Yet somehow letters arrive and buses
remember their routes. Banks balance.
Mangoes ripen on the supermarket shelves.
Everyone manages. You gulp the thin air
of this planet as if it were the only
one you knew. Even the earth you're
standing on seems solid enough.
It's always the chance word, unthinking
gesture that unlocks the face before you.
Reveals intricate countries
deep within the eyes. The hidden
lives, like sudden miracles,
that breathe there.


And now for something completely different...

Britain reveals France's £135m exports to Iraq.

Hmm. Sorta puts that whole "no blood for oil" argument in a completely different perspective...



Friday, March 21, 2003
Patriotism, or Plain Crazy?

National Guardsman changes name to "Optimus Prime"

Seriously.
I took those pictures below last week, when we still had snow everywhere. It's been above freezing for almost a week now, so thankfully most of the white stuff is gone! I can see grass again -- and some of it is even slightly green! It's the small in pleasures in life, you know? I'm actually experiencing Spring! Melting snow and all. Tomorrow it is supposed to get up to 10C (50 Fahrenheit) -- I can't wait. I drove all the way to school with my window down. I may even wash my car tomorrow (since I don't have to worry about the water freezing my locks!).

My week has been good -- and, dare I say -- productive? I had a presentation yesterday on Native theater and Dry Lips Oughta Move to Kapuskasing, and it went amazingly well! I've just been absorbing material surrounding the play like crazy and I'm excited about what I've found/discovered. I made a CD of some of the songs used in the play and played them in class. It was a moving experience, to say the least. I also made a handout for the class -- and we were so busy talking about the play and my points that we only got through the first half of the handout (in two hours!). The prof said that I inspired him so much that he had to run up to his office during our break to write some things down. So I was pretty pleased, all things considered. It made the 3 hours of sleep the night before almost worthwhile.

Having experiences like that, counseling students and teaching literature/rhetoric just confirms for me that the university life is meant for me. I love being a part of the academic community. Yes, I'm fully aware of the setbacks -- be it finances or petty squabbles in a department -- but the rewards far outweigh the negatives. I love being in my office, surrounded by books in a deserted wing of the library, reading for a living! Definitely beats the "real world."

Also on Wednesday I went to the doctor for a follow-up visit concerning my ezcema. So far, he's prescribed me 3 different creams, and none of them seem to be working. Now I get to go see a specialist, who will hopefully fix me right up! I also talked to him about my leg. Turns out that I'm going to need physical therapy to make it stop hurting. I forget what the name of my condition is (I should have had him write it down!), but in layman's terms -- my leg is crooked, causing the inside part of my kneecap to rub up against my leg, causing all the pain I've felt recently. This condition affects women more than men, apparently because our hips are wider which screws up the straight lining up of our legs. So even though my leg is just a little out of alignment, it's causing this huge amount of pain. It's quite annoying, really. It's finally warm enough outside for me to start trekking back to the gym, but my leg hurts so much by the end of the day that I just want to put it up! I'm a little anxious about the therapy, too. I'm also getting my leg Xrayed, to check for any premature arthritis. (Are all those years of playing soccer finally catching up?)

In other news, I've finally finished watching all the Oscar Best Picture contenders. I saw The Pianist tonight. Wow, was that movie hard to watch. It's about the Holocaust, and some of the images in the film are so graphic, I had to cover my eyes. I just stay amazed at how evil some people choose to be. To discriminate and kill without flinching -- or to sit by indifferently -- it's truly an awful chapter in our history. War is such an ugly thing. I think I may be processing this movie, and the implications it makes, for a long while yet.

Today is the official first day of Spring -- it's also the Spring Equinox. Both light and darkness will be in perfect balance today -- something not to be repeated until September 21. It is a day that marks a renewal of life plus the beginning of the light half of the year. I'm going to make sure that I take a few minutes tomorrow to absorb and enjoy it all.

Thursday, March 20, 2003




posted by Becky at 11:50 PM -