| Fish can't fly |
From the website:
Is religion something that only belongs to a few? Taking a secular point of view, FISH CAN’T FLY explores the lives of Gay men and women of faith as they recall their journeys to put their sexuality and spirituality in harmony. While the whole concept of changing ones’ sexual orientation may be viewed with a high level of skepticism, ridicule and even humor by the larger GLBT community, these are the stories of those who have tried.
Finding that their strong religious convictions and faith seemed to be used against them, these are the personal stories of people who have participated in “ex-gay” ministries and found in fact that they did not provide a “cure“…. the answers seemed to come from within. The stories they recall are sad, frightening, poignant and yet surprisingly inspiring and enlightening. With less of a focus on the "ex-gay" movement, the film is more about the telling of stories behind the debate and the role religion can play in one's life. During our lives, each of us embarks on a journey to find our place in the world. Being Gay can make that process more difficult….being Gay and having strong religious convictions can make it doubly hard.
This afternoon the University chaplins screened the documentary Fish Can't Fly. It is such a good (and important) film, that I'm already ordering a copy of it. I'm hoping that I can show it to some important people in my life, if only so that they can see the other side of a polarized issue in the Church.
I know that I'm still processing a lot of what I saw. The movie consists of several gay men and lesbian women who share their stories of what it is like to grow up gay in the Church. Most of them ended up in several ex-gay ministries (or "miseries") -- where they were forced to divide their sexuality from their spirituality, in a desperate effort to be accepted amongst God's people.
Some of their stories were heart-wrecking. Many of them earnestly tried to deny an inherent part of themselves, mainly out of an institutionalized self-loathing. They attended programs, only to be taught that their natural desires were akin to cannibalism (!!) -- and that in order to be accepted into God's kingdom, they'd forever have to live a lie and deny any natural inclinations that God gave them. These men and women endured rejection upon rejection from the people closest to them -- and many of them were sucidial as result. (and yet are still people out there who believe this is a "willful choice?!")
At one point, a psychologist was talking about the effect of these reparation ex-gay programs -- you know, the ones that are intended to make gay people straight. This doctor likened these programs to a covert form of sexual abuse. He said that when sexual molestation happens to a young child, it is because the adult is forcing his or her sexuality upon the child. The adult is, in essence, saying that his/her sexuality is more of a priority than that of the child's -- it's overt sexual abuse. Covert sexual abuse is when you are told that your sexuality is not natural, and must be either transformed or never acted upon -- because it's "God's will."
Throughout history, the Bible has been used to justify prejudice in a variety of ways -- discriminating against gender, race, and now homosexuality. There's nothing worse than institutionalized ignorance, and my passion is to show the human side behind this divisive issue. I want people who are so ardently against homosexuals (including those who "hate the sin, love the sinner) to see the person behind the doctrine. It just tears me up inside to see my friends, who I love, discriminated against because of something biological that was out of their control. It is SO unfair to make someone who's gay have to decide between their spirituality and their sexuality. How is that possible? Which would you choose?
My passion for this topic stems from my own experience. I also know what it's like to be told how I am "supposed" to act and believe. Growing up in an evangelical church, I knew where my place was, as a woman. I was quoted, chapter and verse, sections of the Bible that told me where I fit into the hierarchy of relationships and leadership within the Church. If I questioned, I was told to "have more faith" (translated: sit down and shut up).
I also know what it's like to have certain Bible verses thrown in your face, ones that forever change the way people see you.
RLP posted on this topic yesterday, and he referred to this video, by Dr. Lewis Smedes. In it, he says:
...and then I met a lot of other gay people, lesbian people, who suffered a lot -- in the hands, of all things, their churches. The ONE place on this Earth where grace, and love, and fairness ought to be the theme of life for them. Their gay children -- their gay sons, their lesbian daughters -- are treated with such cruelty and injustice.
Nobody that I've met in these churches wants to be cruel -- and wants to be unjust and unfair in their treatment of them. But, their minds are so conditioned that when they are cruel to homosexual people, their minds tell them that all they are doing is eschewing rejecting SIN. And, that grieves me so terribly.
I think that the Church's treatment of homosexuality has become the greatest heresy in the history of the Church. It's living heresy -- because it's treating God's children as if they're not God's children. If there's any heresy in the world, it's that. It isn't just that the Church is making a mistake -- it's doing a great wrong. Watch it.
Much more to say on this, but I'll save it for another day (& another rant).
Sites I never knew existed:
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i love how you think (and how you write).
i absolutely agree with you about the heresy thing. with few (but notable) exceptions, the church's treatment of gay people has been counter-gospel.
i love this site. thanks for sticking your neck out.
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That sounds like a pretty powerful movie...
I recently found out that a distant cousin is gay. No problem, right, but he is in seminary, becoming a CATHOLIC PRIEST! He has taken a leave of absence to "work through his problem" as his father told my Dad. Frankly, I don't see the problem, because as a Catholic Priest, he would be required to be celibate wether he was straight or gay...I guess that's the ultimate homophobia, he can't be gay, even though he can't act on his feelings.
A lot of my family members are very rude when discussing his "predicament". I wish for him that he chooses whichever path brings him the happiness that he deserves.
I would very much like to borrow this film from you sometime Becky.
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i love how you think (and how you write).
i absolutely agree with you about the heresy thing. with few (but notable) exceptions, the church's treatment of gay people has been counter-gospel.
i love this site. thanks for sticking your neck out.