Good to hear from you. I'm sorry for my delayed reply -- since it's the end of term, things are pretty busy here at the University! I do appreciate our dialogue, though, and also the kind tone you're taking with me in our conversation. Too many times I've experienced judgement and disdain from believers, including many of my own family members, over the fact that we don't necessarily see the world in the same way.

I'm glad you brought up the story of Job. One of my favorite Bible college classes was when we talked about this particular book of the Bible -- I know it's pretty rich in its symbolism and lessons. I guess my main issue with the story would be why God wouldn't feel like he needed to give Job an explanation of why he put him (Job) through so much personal turmoil. From what I remember, and from the verse you quoted in your email, it seems like God got angry about being questioned regarding his motives -- and was more concerned with putting Job "in his place" than comforting his "child" who was suffering. If that's the case, I'm not interested in entering a relationship with such a petty deity.

Also, when I read the beginning of the book of Job, it looks like God is just callously using Job and his personal life as a means to make a point with Satan -- and what kind of loving God would want to do that? When I was in the church, it was always taught to me that despite all that Job went through, by the time it was all over, he was rewarded doubly for all of his suffering. But -- if I were to lose Emma (even if it was due to a bet God made with Satan), and then God "rewarded" me with twice as many children to replace her, would I ever get over the initial loss I felt from losing my child? I don't think I would.

In your email to me you said: "Anyone can debate about hell and discuss their difficulties with it, but the fact remains that if hell exists, it exists whether we believe it does or not and hell is really just a place where God isn't" -- have you thought about what heaven will look like, if hell, as a place, actually exists? How will you feel in heaven, if someone you know and love is suffering in hell for all eternity? I've been told (by people close to me) that God will force them to completely forget about me, so that they can better enjoy being in heaven without worrying about me in hell. What do you think about that? If I were a believer, having to know about other human beings were being tortured (metaphorically or otherwise) in hell, I'm not sure I'd be so eager to be a part of such a "heavenly paradise."

I'm really glad you're open to people questioning and looking for answers. Too many times in churches have I heard it said to "have faith" and just believe what's being said. In terms of "my story," I grew up in the church my entire life. I was actively involved in church from the time I was a small girl until I was a young adult -- I was involved in activities from teaching Sunday School, going on mission trips, and I even attended a couple different Bible colleges. I'm familiar with the faith and the Bible, and was an active part of it for much of my life. These days, thanks to being able to see what so much of religious dogma looks like when it's practically applied to actual people and real life, I reject the Christian faith in light of a more ethical, humanistic morality.

Take care, and do write back if you're up for it. I love talking to people about these issues. I only wish people closest to me would feel welcome enough to engage in such dialogue. Merry Christmas!

Rebekah